The Magical World of Mushrooms

In a recent study, researchers at Johns Hopkins University School of Medicine have found that a single dose of psilocybin, the active ingredient in Magic Mushrooms, prompted a positive long-term personality change in 60% of those tested. Subjects displayed such alterations as a heightened sense of openness, increased spiritual disposition, and a newfound appreciation of Phish. Side effects include, but are not limited to, hula hoops, hackey sacks, hemp fatigue, and ultimately, homelessness. Consult your physician immediately should dread-locking occur.

Finally, a cure for the common asshole... Tell me, in all those years of reading self-help books, did you ever just try tripping balls? They say sometimes you find what you're looking for in the last place you'd ever look. In my defense, the man singing to squirrels in the park was understandably the last place I was looking.