In light of the recent exotic animal scandal, the state of Ohio is taking measures to ensure similar incidents are prevented in the future. Ohio citizens and legislators are calling for more intense regulations and licensing after police in Zanesville were forced to destroy dozens of big cats, bears, and other exotic animals that were released from a local wildlife preserve. After the initial outrage of the slaughter, the focus shifted to the licensing laws of the state, which remain some of the most lax in the country.
In other news, the Ohio Sex Offender Registry accidentally added the names of dozens of non-offenders to their list. The registry issued the following letter to its newest inductees:
"Dear Concerned Citizen,
We regret to inform you that, due to a clerical error, you are now a rapist. My Bad. Sorry."
I guess it's progress. If we're going to crack down on registering wild, exotic animals, why not start with the "bears" and the "cougars?" (mee-oww!)
Welcome to Ohio, the post-Tressel years.
Thursday, November 3, 2011
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
Fear and Loathing in Hollywood
I haven't had much time to post on here this week. My most sincere apologies goes out to all 3 of my readers! My family and friends are beginning to worry that I'm getting too wrapped up in the physical world, so maybe it's time to get back on the internet where things make sense.
I've been wanting to talk about the upcoming film The Rum Diary, the latest installment of Johnny Depp cashing in on Hunter S. Thompson. Don't get me wrong. Being a fan of Thompson's work, I'm excited to see the movie and I'm sure it will be worth watching. My question is why The Rum Diary?
Written in 1960, The Rum Diary was first published in 1998, presumably to coincide with the release of the film adaptation of Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. Until this time, publishers universally rejected the novel and Thompson himself abandoned the project altogether to pursue the political writing that made him famous. Now over 10 years later, this novel which nobody was originally interested in is now being made into a film. In short, they made a movie out of a book that was only released to promote a movie... So instead of seeing a culturally relevant film about the campaign of '72 in a time of political turmoil, we'll be seeing a film adaptation of one of Thompson's first and least ambitious novels simply to prove Johnny Depp can still do an impression of the late Gonzo journalist. Well, that and to help finance Depp's personal island I'm sure.
That said, I'll jump at the chance to see a film adaptation of any work by Hunter S. Thompson. I just can't help thinking they made a piss poor choice of which work to adapt. If there is a next time, they should make Hell's Angels or the aforementioned campaign coverage of '72, and they should cast somebody new in the leading role to avoid the steadily decreasing artistic integrity of Johnny Depp...
Submit your hate mail below!
I've been wanting to talk about the upcoming film The Rum Diary, the latest installment of Johnny Depp cashing in on Hunter S. Thompson. Don't get me wrong. Being a fan of Thompson's work, I'm excited to see the movie and I'm sure it will be worth watching. My question is why The Rum Diary?
Written in 1960, The Rum Diary was first published in 1998, presumably to coincide with the release of the film adaptation of Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. Until this time, publishers universally rejected the novel and Thompson himself abandoned the project altogether to pursue the political writing that made him famous. Now over 10 years later, this novel which nobody was originally interested in is now being made into a film. In short, they made a movie out of a book that was only released to promote a movie... So instead of seeing a culturally relevant film about the campaign of '72 in a time of political turmoil, we'll be seeing a film adaptation of one of Thompson's first and least ambitious novels simply to prove Johnny Depp can still do an impression of the late Gonzo journalist. Well, that and to help finance Depp's personal island I'm sure.
That said, I'll jump at the chance to see a film adaptation of any work by Hunter S. Thompson. I just can't help thinking they made a piss poor choice of which work to adapt. If there is a next time, they should make Hell's Angels or the aforementioned campaign coverage of '72, and they should cast somebody new in the leading role to avoid the steadily decreasing artistic integrity of Johnny Depp...
Submit your hate mail below!
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
Koko Gets Hosed
As it seems to with unsettling frequency, the topic of primate intelligence came up in a conversation of mine recently. I used the following video as an example of language comprehension and the emotional capacity of grief among the great apes.:
Click ME!
What I can't wrap my brain around is the fact that a kitten was left in the care of a gorilla, yet it's the humans that got the cat killed. The following day, Koko displayed further humanlike behavior by filing for a negligence lawsuit. Trainers were amazed to find her studying the paperwork, but amazement quickly turned to distress as she presented the documents and, in perfect sign language, signed "You've been served." They really are just like humans!
The case of Koko illustrates the most primitive form of human intelligence. Gorillas and other great apes can share as much as 99% of our genetic code, making them our closest living relatives. The mere 1% difference is responsible for Wacky Bandz, Ed Hardy, and reality television, leaving one only to speculate whether we truly are the superior species. Myself, I think I'll go with the apes on this one...
However, this study confirms what I've been arguing for years: Sasquatch potentially has an enormous capacity for love.
Click ME!
What I can't wrap my brain around is the fact that a kitten was left in the care of a gorilla, yet it's the humans that got the cat killed. The following day, Koko displayed further humanlike behavior by filing for a negligence lawsuit. Trainers were amazed to find her studying the paperwork, but amazement quickly turned to distress as she presented the documents and, in perfect sign language, signed "You've been served." They really are just like humans!
The case of Koko illustrates the most primitive form of human intelligence. Gorillas and other great apes can share as much as 99% of our genetic code, making them our closest living relatives. The mere 1% difference is responsible for Wacky Bandz, Ed Hardy, and reality television, leaving one only to speculate whether we truly are the superior species. Myself, I think I'll go with the apes on this one...
However, this study confirms what I've been arguing for years: Sasquatch potentially has an enormous capacity for love.
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
'King' Size Me
I find LeBron James an interesting choice to promote McDonald's Monopoly. What's the message here? "Play Monopoly. You're bound to [almost] win... Oh, and by the way, basically the entire world wants you to lose." Ronald McDonald should know to exercise more caution when affiliating with people claiming to be "The King." Look what happened to the last one he underestimated.
Regardless of their motives, this advertising campaign has given me a strategy. I'll start at the McDonald's on the north end of town away from the major highways that mostly draws a local crowd. The harelipped manager has difficulty keeping reliable employees on his payroll, but does his best with what he has to work with. At this location I will enjoy seven decently digestible meals and let the small victories pile up-- a soft drink here, an apple pie there. Then, big prize alluding me, I'll take my hunger to the South Ave. location, where they have a Playplace and free WiFi. Even if my first meal comes up empty, I'll be hungry tomorrow.
But hey, Lebron, I'll play Monopoly with you any time. I call the thimble! You can be the championship ring. There isn't one? Maybe some day. Ring or no ring, Kentucky Avenue has your name on it.
Regardless of their motives, this advertising campaign has given me a strategy. I'll start at the McDonald's on the north end of town away from the major highways that mostly draws a local crowd. The harelipped manager has difficulty keeping reliable employees on his payroll, but does his best with what he has to work with. At this location I will enjoy seven decently digestible meals and let the small victories pile up-- a soft drink here, an apple pie there. Then, big prize alluding me, I'll take my hunger to the South Ave. location, where they have a Playplace and free WiFi. Even if my first meal comes up empty, I'll be hungry tomorrow.
But hey, Lebron, I'll play Monopoly with you any time. I call the thimble! You can be the championship ring. There isn't one? Maybe some day. Ring or no ring, Kentucky Avenue has your name on it.
Friday, September 30, 2011
The Magical World of Mushrooms
In a recent study, researchers at Johns Hopkins University School of Medicine have found that a single dose of psilocybin, the active ingredient in Magic Mushrooms, prompted a positive long-term personality change in 60% of those tested. Subjects displayed such alterations as a heightened sense of openness, increased spiritual disposition, and a newfound appreciation of Phish. Side effects include, but are not limited to, hula hoops, hackey sacks, hemp fatigue, and ultimately, homelessness. Consult your physician immediately should dread-locking occur.
Finally, a cure for the common asshole... Tell me, in all those years of reading self-help books, did you ever just try tripping balls? They say sometimes you find what you're looking for in the last place you'd ever look. In my defense, the man singing to squirrels in the park was understandably the last place I was looking.
Finally, a cure for the common asshole... Tell me, in all those years of reading self-help books, did you ever just try tripping balls? They say sometimes you find what you're looking for in the last place you'd ever look. In my defense, the man singing to squirrels in the park was understandably the last place I was looking.
Thursday, September 29, 2011
Kindle Revisited
And so it goes, a mere 3 weeks of owning my Kindle and it's already obsolete. Today Amazon announced plans to release the all new Kindle Touch and Kindle Fire. I'm just thankful I talked myself out of the optional cassette tape drive while I had the chance... Having just finished reading my first complete novel on my new Kindle, I originally planned to discuss my thoughts on the experience. I'll probably get to some of that too, but instead I guess we'll look at the new models. As they are slated for release in November, this comparison is based entirely on specs given on Amazon having never personally seen or used the new line... So what gives me the credentials to give you such a review? The internet, my friends. The internet.
The Kindle Fire is Amazon's more affordable answer to the iPad. Unlike all previous Kindle releases, this model features a full color display and touch screen technology. While this seems to be a promising new addition to the tablet family, those seeking the readability of the e-ink display should pass this one by. As far as reading material goes, Kindle Fire seems more suited for magazines and comics. As with the iPad and other tablets, reading in sunlight will most likely be more difficult than the e-ink display, even with glare reduction.
The Kindle Touch seems to be a more intriguing concept for the literary crowd. It features the same easily readable display of e-ink with one big difference: touch screen capabilities. It's hard to say whether this feature is worth the hype without actually using one, but I foresee trouble if Amazon didn't take time to accommodate the sausage-fingered folk. These folks might want to swing more for the new standard Kindle, which features a smaller, more lightweight design with the side mounted buttons for page turning.
Even with these new releases in mind, I still stand by my purchase. What was formerly known simply as Kindle is now the Kindle Keyboard. In contrast to these new models, the Keyboard holds more books (3,500) than the Touch and new Kindle, which hold 3,000 and 1,400 respectively. With touch screens gaining more popularity, the use of keyboards and buttons seems to be going the way of Latin Pop, but I don't mind having them while they're around. I'll get a little more excited once they find a way to integrate touch technology onto a color e-ink screen. Until then I have some more reading to do!
The Kindle Fire is Amazon's more affordable answer to the iPad. Unlike all previous Kindle releases, this model features a full color display and touch screen technology. While this seems to be a promising new addition to the tablet family, those seeking the readability of the e-ink display should pass this one by. As far as reading material goes, Kindle Fire seems more suited for magazines and comics. As with the iPad and other tablets, reading in sunlight will most likely be more difficult than the e-ink display, even with glare reduction.
The Kindle Touch seems to be a more intriguing concept for the literary crowd. It features the same easily readable display of e-ink with one big difference: touch screen capabilities. It's hard to say whether this feature is worth the hype without actually using one, but I foresee trouble if Amazon didn't take time to accommodate the sausage-fingered folk. These folks might want to swing more for the new standard Kindle, which features a smaller, more lightweight design with the side mounted buttons for page turning.
Even with these new releases in mind, I still stand by my purchase. What was formerly known simply as Kindle is now the Kindle Keyboard. In contrast to these new models, the Keyboard holds more books (3,500) than the Touch and new Kindle, which hold 3,000 and 1,400 respectively. With touch screens gaining more popularity, the use of keyboards and buttons seems to be going the way of Latin Pop, but I don't mind having them while they're around. I'll get a little more excited once they find a way to integrate touch technology onto a color e-ink screen. Until then I have some more reading to do!
Saturday, September 24, 2011
Happy Fall!
Crack whore seems to be a popular Halloween costume this year. Was Courtney Love's biopic a summer blockbuster without me knowing? I must say, Gary Busey looks strong in the lead role. I smell an Oscar nod!
Yeah... I even made this and it creeps me out.
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